god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you never un-have a 4some
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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