I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize