Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
