The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i barfeds in our rink
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
