She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize