She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
