do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
