i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
pray to the hookup gods
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
