watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
