I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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