Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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