so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were trust falling into bushes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
