Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think people are normalizing furries
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