her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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