Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
