i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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