I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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