It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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