the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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