just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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