Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
