I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
