No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
