Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
