I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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