Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Dicks are not precious.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize