he wants to bone in the snuggie
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize