a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
