that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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