Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Be still, my beating vagina.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
