I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need a beard to bite.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
