He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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