Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize