the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
