she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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