haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
