is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
