Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
