butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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