Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
