Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
