hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
