If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
