i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize