the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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