Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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