in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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