I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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