does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
