I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
