why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
