Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
