I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
