You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
