So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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