haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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