Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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