when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
