I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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