This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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