Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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