My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
