I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
