My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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