My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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