Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
