you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
