Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
