it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize