he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
