We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
