to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
