I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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