i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
