About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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