i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
