kristin has been a bad kristin
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
