at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
