HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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