google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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